rosivan: (Default)
[personal profile] rosivan
wordcount: (this part) ~18,300 (total ~36,800)
warnings: implied abuse, street kids, youth shelters, sex (legal age)
summary: Sam is a volunteer at a youth shelter. He takes a personal interest in Gabriel, one of the kids who was recently brought in.

NOTES: I only wrote Gabriel.


[part one]



The rest of the stained glass museum was a litany of them trolling in and out, looking at every single one. Gabriel's attention seemed most focused on any that had angels in them, and Sam had to admit they drew his attention, too. By the time they escaped, it was nearly sunset, and they still hadn't eaten.

Sam proposed a sandwich place and then the beach, which they drove the Jeep to and parked on, a secluded little piece a bit east of the pier. Sam had three sandwiches for himself and two for Gabriel, along with chips, pop, and copious amount of apples. At Gabriel's dubious glance, he said, "I eat a lot when I can, okay," and stuffed another bite it.


"Hollow leg?" Gabriel inquired playfully, not looking away from his precarious chip stack. He placed another on top and bit deep into one of the sandwich halves. He didn't have the appetite he used to, but he still held his own (when not compared to Sam).


"Gee, thanks." Sam packed away a third of his mushroom-swiss hoagie before reaching for chips, then turned to stare out into the sun, bangs whipping across his face. "Maybe I should eat extra for you. You could stand to grow, oh, a foot or so. What are you, five four?"


"Think it defeats the purpose if you eat 'em for me," Gabriel flicked a chip at Sam then continued his tower. "And it's five six, Samsquatch."


"Oh, you're clever," the elder man responded, snagging the chip and popping it in his mouth. "Five six, ooh. A whole foot shorter than me, squirt." He gave Gabriel a bright grin.


Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him, mouth stuffed full with his other sandwich half. He chewed carefully and swallowed, washing it down with grape soda. "Just you wait. I could still catch up to you."


"Yuhhuh. You've got maybe two years of growth left, kiddo." Sam reached over, ruffled his hair. "Besides, I like shorter men. So don't grow too much."


"I'll try to keep the sproutin' down to a minimum," Gabriel said, amused. He blew his bangs out of his face and gave up on his chip tower, deciding it was a better idea to eat it instead.


Sam ran his hands through Gabriel's hair again, then sighed happily and flopped back in the warmed sand, eyes closing. "So, which hotel?"


Gabriel shrugged before realizing that Sam wouldn't see it. "Whichever. Not exactly up to date." He watched the birds flying low over the water and smiled


"C'mere," Sam said, flicking his fingers and waving Gabriel over. He opened his eyes partway, hand shielding them from the setting sun.


Gabriel finished off his soda and shuffled through the sand, flopping on his stomach beside Sam with a bright smile on his face. He raised a hand to join Sam's, over his eyes.


Sam grabbed Gabriel round the shoulders and rolled him until his head was in the crook of Sam's arm, Sam's arm around him and their bodies pressed comfortably together. "Mmm, there."


Gabriel snickered into Sam's shirt even as he curled closer, a tangle of limbs. "Better?" He breathed in the lake air, and the heat off Sam's skin.


"Great," Sam hummed, rubbed his hand down Gabriel's arm, his side. "Hey, Gabe..." He paused awkwardly, shifting. "Your brother didn't..."


Sunshine lazy, even in the sunset, Gabriel made a questioning noise. "Didn't...?"


Sam prodded Gabriel's side gently. "You know, man."


Oh. "Hurt me? Yeah." If he said it bluntly, quick and clean, he could almost pretend it was something that was beyond him. Gabriel could almost pretend that it didn't push the paranoia into his spine, and make him feel like there was someone about to kick him in the back.


"No, Gabe." Sam's voice softened. "Yeah, I know he hit you, hurt you, but did he--Beyond that?" His fingers gentled, sweeping over Gabriel's hip.


Oh. "No," Gabriel said firmly, wriggling further into the safety of Sam's arms. "He didn't...touch me, no." That, some of that, had come later.


Sam tightened his arms. "Good," he mumbled. "I don't want you to have bad memories to associate with it."


There was some hesitation on Gabriel's part, and his breath hitched just slightly before confessing, "After I left...there was. Something." He rushed to add, "It wasn't serious."


Glancing over, Sam let his hand slide down Gabriel's side again. "Something like what?"


"You don't get anything for free, right?" Gabriel hadn't really known at the time, didn't understand. He brushed his leg over Sam's and hooked an ankle lightly around his calf. "Learned the hard way. I know you...get that, about me. But that's why."


Sam sucked in a quiet breath. "That's why you kissed my palm, that day," he mumbled. "You thought--oh, man." He tugged Gabriel impossibly closer, ignoring the slide of sand down his sleeve as he tightened his hold. "I'm sorry. I should have--shit."


"I didn't get it," Gabriel said muffled into Sam's neck, "You didn't either. I'm glad you didn't."


Sam's hand slid up into Gabriel's hair. "What did they...?"


He took a deep breath and held it for a moment. Let it go. "Small stuff. But I didn't want it, so."


"Yeah." Sam made a soft noise and relaxed into Gabriel, reversing their positions with little effort. He kept his arms around Gabriel but ended up the one with his face buried in Gabriel's chest, breathing him in.


Gabriel's heart was still rocketting from the memory, but he quickly calmed, stroking Sam's hair and watching the clouds drift by. "I just. Wanted you to know," he said quietly. No more secrets. He felt blissfully empty of secrets.


Sam quieted and rubbed his cheek on Gabriel's chest, arm tight around his waist. "Yeah, I know the feeling," he said, voice soft, lazy. "If I ever do something to make you uncomfortable, you tell me."


He hummed agreement in the back of his throat and cradled what he could of Sam. Light fingertips wandered, still loving the expanse of him, and how he was open to touch.


Sam lay pliant for a good few long moments, then pushed himself up and stripped off his shirt, eager to feel warm sand on his skin. He draped back over Gabriel, nuzzling against his chest, and hummed contently, the sun fading out over the water.


"I bet you make a good blanket in the winter," Gabriel sighed, trying not to shift and encourage more sand down his shirt collar. He pulled a handful of it into one hand and let it drizzle through his fingers.


"You can find out," Sam mumbled, and pushed his hand up under Gabriel's shirt. "No sense in you havin' one on either..." His tone was wheedling, mischievous.


"I hope so," Gabriel said lightly. He raised his arms, grinning, letting Sam pull it off for him. "Cause I get cold easy."


Sam grinned, letting out an appreciative noise at the sight of Gabriel's skin. He dipped his head and lapped along the kid's collarbone, a low purr rumbling in his chest. "I'll find ways to keep you warm, don't worry."


A spark of interest flared in Gabriel's belly at the moist heat along his skin, and he wriggled under the attention. Brushing the hair out of Sam's face, Gabriel huffed a soft laugh, cheeks flushed with happiness. "I bet~"


Sam shifted up a little, over, his arms trapping Gabriel in place, chest to chest. "You know, we do have a hotel room tonight..." he said softly, both eyebrows raised.


Gabriel tipped his head just enough to press his lips to the corner of Sam's mouth. "So you wanna get me up to that room-" Gabriel licked softly at the curl of his lip, making a point, "Get close together, just like this-" He sucked at the skin for a moment before continuing, "And...watch cartoons?" The expression on his face as he pulled away was unconvincingly innocent.


"That was kinda the plan," Sam responded, deadpan, then lowered his lips to Gabriel's neck, trailed a couple nipping kisses up toward his ear. He blew gently, shifting dark hair aside. "I was kind of thinking I'd fuck you, though."


Gabriel shivered, his skin tingling all at once at Sam's words. "Hells yeah," he breathed, hands venturing down, along the strong planes of Sam's back. "Jesus."


Sam grinned and pressed a sloppy kiss to the edge of Gabriel's jaw. "We need to stop at a grocery store, then," he mumbled, nosing closer, nuzzling. It was a weird habit of his, one past boyfriends--and girlfriend--had commented on, but it wasn't like he could stop it.


Gabriel snorted just above Sam's ear. "Kinky," is all he said. Chocolate sauce. He was suddenly hungry, his stomach growling.


Snorting, Sam glanced down. "I just fed you," he sniggered, nipping the lobe of Gabriel's ear and pressing his hand down just above the band of his swim trunks, palm broad and warm, teasing. "And maybe it's kinky, but I assume you want to be able to walk tomorrow, right?"


Gabriel bit softly into his own lip, shifting beneath Sam. He watched his palm, low on his stomach oh shit yeah and shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe I'm growin? I dunno." He bit back an appreciate groan at the implications of not walking. "I could just...not. Tomorrow."


Sam snickered. "Believe me, you're going to want something to ease it up," he murmured, and shifted his palm obediently a little lower. "Feel good


He nodded, touching his fingers to Sam's cheek. "Yeah. ...and okay." Okay - an ordinarily plain word, but it was his complete trust in the man over top of him


Sam ducked his head, rubbed his cheek into Gabriel's palm, pressed a kiss to his lips. "Thank you," he mumbled, eyes locking on Gabriel's. "Really."


Gabriel gave him a strange smile. "For what?" He stroked his cheek a few more times.


"Trusting me." Sam had gone so long seeing distrust in Gabriel's eyes that he knew what the opposite looked like. "We should go, mm."


"You made it easy,' Gabriel told him. He wiggled, digging his feet into the sand. "Not easy to get going, now, though. Just saying." Offering an impish smile, he kissed Sam quickly.


Sam let Gabriel do as he pleased, then gently pushed him down into the sand, hand sliding under the back of his head to angle it, lift him to press their lips together again. "Not easy, but we have tooo," he singsonged, letting his weight sink down on Gabriel.


Gabriel whined in the back of his throat, curling his arms around Sam's torso. "This is totally unfair. You wanted to get going." On a whim, he danced his fingers down Sam's side to see if he was ticklish.


Sam squirmed, gasping unintentionally. "Gabriel--" he protested, batting his hands away and rolling to Gabriel's side. "We do have to get going," he said, placating.


An easy grin slid into place and Gabriel followed after him, swinging a leg over to sit on Sam's middle. "Oh, so now we're actually going." He moved to tickle him again.


Letting out another gasp, Sam squirmed, twisting underneath Gabriel. "Evil," he choked out, batting at Gabriel's hands again. "Pure evil."


He laughed a little wickedly, but pulled his hands away, resting them on his thighs. "Okay, let's go for real. Squirmy wormy." He stood, went to get his shirt.


"Oh, you're mature," Sam said, rolling over to get up. He yanked his shirt on and ran his hands through Gabriel's hair, mussing it, then sweeping it aside so Sam could mouth the back of his neck, teeth nipping briefly.


Gabriel hummed and tugged his shirt on, sand dropping from his sleeves. "Thank you~" He scooped up one of the apples and bit into it. "Grocery store, then?"


"Yup." Sam packed the rest of the trash back in the sandwich bag and tossed it in the back of his Jeep as he slid in, leather warm through his shirt. He reached across and shoved the other door open for Gabriel, quirking an eyebrow. "Tall enough to get in by yourself or do I need to boost you?"


"That's what the step thing is for," Gabriel said pleasantly, "Not-yet-tall people." He climbed in, dropping his backback in the back with their other stuff, and tugged the door shut.


"Not yet? Not ever," Sam teased, but reached over to rub his fingers through Gabriel's hair, fingers curling around his ear and tucking a loose strand back. "Keep dreamin'."


"Gotta few years left in me," he reminded, smiling over at Sam. "Not in my twilight yet, yanno." Far from it, especially on a day that felt like the most perfect one so far in his life.


"We'll see," Sam responded, and leaned over to brush his lips over Gabriel's cheek. "You had fun so far?" He slid back and put the car into drive, sloughing sand from the tires as he sped off the beach and back onto the main road.


Gabriel reached out to touch his hand to Sam's shoulder. "Best surprise ever." He rifled through Sam's CDs, dropping his sunglasses over his eyes.


Sam gave him a smile, watching Gabriel from his peripheral. If Sam had thought him attractive those weeks ago when they'd first met, he was downright beautiful now. Sam told him as much as he pulled onto the main highway, circling toward the outskirts of the city to look for a grocery store with an actual parking lot.


Gabriel didn't quite know what to say to that - it's not very common to be called beautiful, at least not for him. Mumbling a slightly embarassed (but more than a little pleased) thank you, he watched Sam from behind the screen of his shades, and bit back a silly grin.


It took twenty minutes to find a grocery store, and Sam spent most of the time yelling jokingly at passing people. He got a few waves, a lot of stares, and said enough stupid shit that he practically had Gabriel in tears by the time they parked. He slid the Jeep into park and cut the engine, shoving Gabriel's shoulder lightly. "Come on, come on," he said, rolling his eyes. "Food to buy. Other things to buy."


"So pushy!" Gabriel hopped out of the Jeep, still sort of giggling to himself. "Gotta list or something? Need a cart?" He started veering off to the cart drop off, but then moved back.


"I only need two things," Sam responded. He waved at Gabriel. "You can pick food. So yeah, a cart."


"What two things?" Gabriel asked curiously. He pulled a cart from its fellows and guided it to the store. "If I pick the food," he warned, "It's gonna all be sweet things." It was why his brothers didn't let him do the shopping.


"That's fine." Sam flashed Gabriel a devilish smile. "You'll find out later." He ruffled Gabriel's hair again, which was quickly becoming one of his favorite pastimes, and said, "Just pick what you want."


Gabriel blew his bangs from his eyes and shrugged. "All righty." As promised, once they'd been shopping for a bit, he managed to accumilate various sweet items - honey bread, chocolate almonds and coconut yogurt, with a wedge of cheese and sliced meat from the deli.


Sam, for his part, tossed in popcorn and a pre-sliced fresh jar of watermelon--his weakness--along with a small bag that he slipped into the pocket of his sweatshirt. The bill came to something like $40, still less than Sam's budget for the day. He bumped shoulders with Gabriel as they left the store. "Happy?"


"I was happy before," Gabriel told him, sliding an arm through his for the walk back to the jeep. "Doesn't hurt, though." He'd given strange looks to the jar of watermelon, but he had to admit it looked yummy.


Sam squeezed Gabriel's arm in his and helped load the bags in the back of the Jeep. He was wheeling the cart over to put it away when his cell rang. Shoving the cart unnecessarily roughly down the channel (he'd done it ever since a kid, just to see if he could startle someone) he answered. "Yeah?"

There was a long beat of silence, during which Sam's shoulders stiffened and his jaw clenched, the muscle at the corner twitching. Everything he said from then on was clipped, monosyllable. He stayed by the cart rack, speaking low into the phone.


Gabriel was back in the Jeep, tapping out some secret song on the dashboard as he waited. After the excitement of the day, the constant rushing of water over sand, and the buzz-hum of crowds, the parking lot was quiet. There was the slam of the cart back into the rest, a cell phone ring, and then nothing.

Gabriel glanced over the back of the seat, frowning at the strong line of Sam's back as he stood still, listening to someone on the phone. No, talking to someone, though he wasn't saying much. "...Sam?"


Sam raised one hand, clenching his jaw tighter to keep from snapping. Talking to John always put him in bad moods, and he wasn't about to take it out on Gabe. Not if he could help it. "... none of yo--I'm on a date, okay? Yes. No--Yes. Jesus. I'm gonna go, okay? Dean can call me anytime." He snapped the phone closed and turned, hands sliding into his pockets as he stalked to the Jeep, opened the driver's side door, slid in and sat there, taking deep breaths.


Gabriel didn't pry, because Sam had never pried when something had inched its way under his skin. He slipped a hand over and carefully rested it along the back of Sam's neck, his thumb working in gentle circles.


Sam's eyes slid closed and he tipped his head forward to give Gabriel more room, slowly relaxing under his touch. "Thanks," he mumbled.


"Do you need to go?" Sam had originally told him that he'd be busy the next few days - maybe he had been and just rearranged things?


"What? No." Sam glanced over at Gabriel through his hair. "It was my dad."


Not the happiest way to say that sentence, but then again, Gabriel knew the signs of a deadbeat or difficult father. "Oh." He said. Shifting up on the seat, Gabriel leaned over to push his way into Sam's space, not letting him hide behind his hair, and wrapping an arm around him. "Okay."


Sam gratefully accepted Gabriel's touch and wrapped both arms around him. "I just--he's a sore spot. And he calls once or twice every half a year or so and tries to talk to me, and he doesn't even know me anymore. Has no idea what I've done since I left when I was sixteen."


"Does he ask?" Gabriel said. His own father had been scarily all-knowing, more aware of what Gabriel and his brothers were doing than they were, sometimes.


"He tries to. I haven't told him anything," Sam sighed into Gabriel's hair. "I don't... It's not that I don't care, it's just that when I care, it gets thrown back in my face, y'know?"


"Yeah," Gabriel said, understanding more than he could express. He squeezed Sam tight, hands moving soothingly as he knew how.


Sam pushed against Gabriel, unused to the change in role. "We should go," he finally sighed, but he tangled his fingers in Gabriel's and tightened his hand, left sliding over to push the kid's sunglasses up to rest on top of his head, hair pushed back. "You're awesome, you know that?"


Gabriel winked at him in response, so glad - just so fucking glad that he could do something for Sam. He settled back into his seat, smiling up at him


Keeping his hand wound tightly in Gabriel's, Sam shifted out of park with his left hand and pulled back out into the darkened streets of Chicago, in search of a hotel. What they finally found was a warm, homey Best Western smack in the center of Chicago.

Sam found a parking garage and hauled his duffel and the bags of food out, and within ten minutes they were in an elevator on their way up to a room--314--with Sam practically bouncing on his toes, good mood restored


Gabriel pressed his palm to the buttons before he could think about it, only realizing once he'd leaned back against the polished rail that it wasn't the shelter elevator and mashing his hand to the buttons meant more than four floors.

After a moment he decided it was too late anyway, and bounced his foot to the music playing.


Sam rolled his eyes and obligingly pressed the two Gabriel had missed, used by now to this routine. They went through six floors, and by the time the doors opened on theirs, the groceries were settled on the floor and Sam had Gabriel pressed back into the wall, mouth at his throat.


Gabriel squeezed where his hand was resting on Sam's hip. "Hey," he said, with a little too much mischeif in his tone, "This is where we get off." Two spots of colour were flushed high on his cheeks, and sunglasses were askew on his head.


"Don't care," Sam mumbled, but he stuck a foot in the door and grabbed the plastic bags, duffel still slung over his back. "You have the key card?"


He wiggled the card between his fingers, and led the way down the hall. 312...313....314! After a few seconds of fumbling with the lock (he'd never used a keycard before), Gabriel moved into their room and held the door for Sam.


Sam slipped in, tossed his duffel on the large bed, set the groceries down out of the way, and promptly turned, seizing Gabriel's hips and using his weight to yank him up, pressing his back to the wall and guiding his legs around Sam's waist. Sam pressed into him, grinning, for once on eye level, and rolled his hips slowly, eyes locked on Gabriel's.


Backpack and keybard dropping from his hands as he was lifted, Gabriel had an initial moment of panic, reaching out to grip Sam's shirt tightly. His brain caught up, registering the sly smile on Sam's tan face, and the desire in his eyes. His head lolled back on his shoulders, lidded gaze still focused on Sam, and Gabriel hooked his ankles together, fingers loosening in the other man's shirt.


"It's okay," Sam purred, leaning close, lips finding Gabriel's collarbone. "I gotcha." To prove it, he pressed Gabriel a little more firmly against the wall and pulled him into a kiss, one hand slipping up to tug his sunglasses freee.


Christ, he was strong, lifting him like it was nothing. Gabriel couldn't deny the little thrill from it, since it was Sam, and he was all over Gabriel. "Jesus," Gabriel muttered, rocking against Sam. He smoothed his hands through dark brown hair, thinking Sam tasted like apples and sunshine, the sweet warmth of their day.


Sam purred low in his chest and snuggled up against Gabriel, holding him up easily. "I don't lift weights for nothing," he said, feigning hurt. "I at least thought I looked like I could lift you."


"And I thought I was heavier, but apparently you bench more than I thought." Gabriel pushed off from the wall a little, testing Sam's stance, seeing if he could take a little resistance. "It's kinda hot." But only because he knew Sam would never hurt him.


"Feisty," Sam murmured, pressing harder back against Gabriel and sinking his teeth into the younger boy's shoulder. "Keep doing that and I'll just have to keep biting you and putting you back in your place."


Gabriel made a rolling noise in the back of his throat, dropping his hands to Sam's shoulders to push again. "So confused - is that incentive or not?"


Sam let out a soft growl, using one hand to pin both of Gabriel's against the wall over his head, his lips trailing along the cream skin of the underside of Gabriel's upper arm, teeth sinking in here and there. "You decide."


Sighing against Sam's ear, Gabriel flicked his tongue out along the lobe. "I think I'd like anything you'd do to me."


With a happy, drawn-out sigh, Sam knelt, letting Gabriel down onto his feet. Sam straightened, sliding his fingers along Gabriel's cheek, back through his hair. Gabriel was responsive. He was going to have a hell of a time just watching the kid. "Come on, bed," he murmured, tugging a strand of hair.


Gabriel lifted his eyes, smiling slightly, fingers lingering at his neck as if to feel the marks left by Sam's mouth. He moved past Sam, knowing his eyes would follow, and crossed his arms in front of himself to tug off his shirt in one smooth motion. The muscles in his back rippled his tattooed wings when Gabriel dropped his arms down again.


Sam let out a soft sound at the sight. He stepped forward, sliding his hands up from Gabriel's hips and along his sides to his arms, then back down, fingers working circles. He dipped his head, mouthing between Gabriel's shoulders. "Beautiful," he murmured, hands settling low.


Gabriel hummed contentment, his eyes fluttering almost shut. His knees bumped against the edge of the bed as he stopped moving and Gabriel tipped his head forward, hands going slightly behind him, easing over Sam's.


Sam lifted his fingers, spread them, tangled them with Gabriel's. He licked down Gabriel's spine, suckling marks into his skin on either side, sinking almost to his knees again to reach.


He arched unintentionally away, head tipping back and gasping - he'd never been touched that way. Fingers tightening with Sam's, Gabriel wriggled, making soft sounds through bitten-closed lips.


Heat pooling in him from the sounds he was pulling from Gabriel, Sam paused to rub his cheek on Gabriel's marked skin, sighing against him. He dipped again, crouching on one knee and relentlessly licking a path up the entire length of his spine.


Gabriel swore, and by the time Sam was almost standing again, he was panting, tugging at Sam's hands. Gabriel half turned, mouth open and offered for a kiss, hard - so obviously hard - in his shorts. "Sam-" Eyes were wide and heavy with desire.


"Hmm?" Sam dropped a kiss on Gabriel's forehead and stroked his flushed cheek. His hand slid down from there to rub Gabriel's chest, Sam's expression lazily teasing.


Gabriel frowned, just slightly, but with his eyes wide and focused on Sam, it looked like a pout on him. He turned and folded himself into Sam, moving onto tip-toes, standing as tall as he could. Gabriel kissed slowly, as high on the older man's chest as he could reach.


Sam grinned and wrapped Gabriel in his arms, draping them over the younger boy's shoulders and savoring the feel and warmth of his skin. His hands slid down, then up, and Sam pressed forward a step, sliding Gabriel down to sit on the bed. Sam knelt, trailing his lips down Gabriel's chest and to his stomach, fingers stroking the younger boy's sides.


Shifting forward to the very edge of the bed, Gabriel reached for Sam, palms curving neatly over the crest of his shoulders. He murmured soft approvals, his belly shivering under attention, and even though he didn't get a proper kiss like he'd wanted, the thought floated away.


Shifting Gabriel's knees apart, Sam moved a little closer and leaned up to curve his hand around the back of his lover's neck, pulling him into a kiss. He liked to tease; he was aware of what Gabriel had been seeking, and had no problems giving it. "Gabe," he murmured, kissing him again, deeper this time, hand on Gabriel's jaw to guide his angle.


Gabriel didn't ask for things and was a little shyer than he'd once been about taking. He surged forward to meet Sam, legs obediently moving at his touch. He melted up into the kiss with a breathy sigh of satisfaction, and hummed a question in response to his name.


Sam chuckled, deepening the kiss further, until he could feel the warm weight of it in his molars. "You're awesome," he said, pressing up and climbing onto the bed as well, sliding up near the headboard to sit. He stripped his own shirt off, tossing it aside, and crooked his fingers at Gabriel in a "come hither" motion.


A grin burst across his face and Gabriel fluttered his eyelashes as he twisted his body into an approximation of a sexily-sprawled pose at the foot of the bed. It didn't last for long, and he rolled to his knees, moving to join Sam. Gabriel settled in Sam's lap, fingers running interestedly over the bared ridges of Sam's stomach.


Sam smiled again, eyes softened, and reached up to cup the line of Gabriel's jaw. "Gorgeous," he said softly, pulling the younger boy close against him and kissing him again before squirming and reaching down for the plastic bag he'd tossed against the side of the bed. He pulled a small bottle from it and squeezed a little onto his finger, then held it up to Gabriel's lips. "Taste."


"Like it?" Sam leaned in to press his lips to the corner of Gabriel's mouth. He brought his finger to his own lips to taste. He gripped Gabriel's hip and handed him the bottle for inspection, lazing back to watch him.


The bottle label was only given a short glance, and Gabriel caught a bead of the fluid on his thumb, smearing it between two fingers. "Yeah~" He almost purred, handing the bottle back - in his own hands, it'd be everywhere, chocolate and slick, pooling at the curve of Sam's hips.


Sam grinned, setting the bottle aside and leaning forward to sprawl Gabriel gently onto his back. "You trust me?" he asked, settling over top of Gabriel, lips gentle on his neck. "Trust me not to hurt you?"


That's a stupid question he wanted to say, but Gabriel knew why Sam had asked. He tipped his knees to either side, letting Sam have more room, and feeling more protected by the man curved over him, instead of feeling vunerable as he probably should have. "I trust you," Gabriel said clearly, eyes unguarded and soft.


Grin widening a little, Sam shifted back on his knees and hooked his fingers under the band of Gabriel's shorts, tugging them gently. "Okay?" he asked, tipping his head up.


Arms raised above his head, Gabriel lifted his hips a little. "I trust you," he repeated


"I know," Sam said softly. "I just don't want to wreck this, y'know?" He tugged Gabriel's shorts off and ghosted his fingers over the younger boy's cock, barely touching, his eyes still on Gabriel's.


Gabriel slung a leg over Sam's thigh, pushing at mussed bedsheets with his toes. "I've thought about this," he told Sam, "A lot. So I wouldn't worry about it." Gabriel's throat worked, gaze darting away from Sam's for a moment to watch his hands.


"Oh really?" Sam leaned down, hand wrapping fully around Gabriel and stroking twice. "What were you thinking?" he purred, eyes smoldering.


Gabriel's hips jerked forward before he could stop himself and he gave Sam a look that was ruined by blown pupils. What was he thinking? Jesus. Which one should he pick? Fuck, Sam has big hands. He'd thought maybe Sam could find all his pieces for him, since Gabriel was tired of looking for them. "Nothing spesific," he murmured, "Figured you'd fuck the thoughts right out of my head."


Sam smirked. "I'll try," he murmured, squirming down to press kisses to his belly. "Wanna know what I imagined?" He didn't pause to let Gabriel answer. "You, in my room. My bed. Me, fucking you until you can't say anything but my name." Sam stroked faster, wrist twisting, sure and firm. "How's that sound? Guess we'll have to forgo the 'my house' part, but that'll come soon anyway."


"Ohshit," Gabriel pushed a hand into the dark tangle of Sam's hair. "Sam," he warned faintly, spine arching. He had little endurance, and Sam, warm and heavy, smiling above him, was quickly going to tip him over the edge.


"Go ahead," Sam murmured, licking his lips. He picked up the pace, pressing his lips to Gabriel's chest. "Come for me, Gabe. I want to see it, you're so pretty..."


Words burning through him, Gabriel gave a wordless gasp, his hips stuttering as he came. His hands roved, smoothing down along Sam's nape and shoulders, Gabriel's falling askew. "Sam," he sighed, and then again, humming as he came down. His skin tingled all over, and he rubbed up against his lover.


Sam lifted Gabriel into his arms, rocking back up on his knees with Gabriel pressed up close to him. He pressed his hands along the younger boy's back, inked skin sliding deliciously under his fingers. "Yeah?" he breathed, bowing his head to taste the skin where Gabriel's neck met his shoulder.


"Nothing," Everything. Languidly, he wrapped around Sam, tilting his head to give more access. "Y'want Sam?" Gabriel rocked gently in Sam's lap, fingers wiggling under the waist of his shorts, stroking the soft skin there.


Sam's breath hitched, just a little. He let Gabriel down and shifted back, sliding out of his shorts and drawing Gabriel to him again, kissing him swiftly. "If you want," he said, even though his skin was burning with need.


"C'mon, Sam," Gabriel encouraged, totally not buying the act. He nipped at the underside of Sam's jaw, licking a line along his throat. He sucked at the skin of the dip along his collar, hummed a question.


"Nn-- Yeah," Sam forced out, dropped his head onto Gabriel's shoulder. He slid back to lie down, his cock fat and flushed on his belly. "Yeah, please, Gabe."


Gabriel found the little bottle and rolled it between his fingers, considering it for a moment. He could tease too. He poured some of it over his fingers, smiling at Sam when he took another lick, before shifting to face away from Sam, up on his knees. Gabriel reached around behind himself, drawing his fingers along where the bottom most feathers of his tattoo met with the base of his spine. Fingers dipped lower, between the cleft of his ass, and after a few smooth passes, Gabriel curved back so he could slip a finger in, to prepare himself for Sam as he watched.


Sam's jaw dropped. Of all the things he had been expecting Gabriel to do, that wasn't one of them. "Jesus," he breathed. "Gabe." His eyes were trained on Gabriel's hand; part of him wanted to join in. But he wouldn't. This was Gabriel's show, his moment, and Sam was damn well gonna enjoy it.


Gabriel grinned to himself at the tone of Sam's voice - it made his self-conscious blush, dark across his face and chest, so very worth it. He worked one finger slowly in and out, his free hand parting the cheeks so Sam could see, breath growing increasingly unsteady until he work a second finger in.


After another minute and another finger, Sam couldn't take it anymore. He leaned forward, hand slipping gently down to tug Gabriel's wrist. He replaced his lover's fingers with his own, slipping first one, then two in. He let Gabriel accustom himself to the feeling, then carefully crooked his fingers, rubbing Gabriel's prostate.


Gabriel groaned, swaying dizzily at the pressure, and extended an arm back to brace against Sam's shoulder. He swivelled his hips slightly, getting the full feel of Sam's fingers inside him.Inside him. "Ngh, Sam."


Sam positioned Gabriel carefully, drawing him back between Sam's legs until they were resting back to chest, Sam's free hand gently gripping Gabriel's left thigh to keep his legs spread. From this angle, he could draw his fingers slowly back and forth along Gabriel's prostate, teasingly stroking, rubbing gasps and moans from his lover.


Gabriel didn't mean to be loud, but he was, pressing his mouth against Sam's neck and burying his noises there. He kept on hand splayed over Sam's at his thigh, and his other moved to caress Sam's side, a studdering pattern up and down.


Sam loved it, loved hearing Gabriel breathe out noises that he knew were just for him. "I gotcha," he purred, slipping a third finger gently into Gabriel. "You're so gorgeous."


Gabriel stilled for the third finger, never having gone that far on his own. It was a slow ache, but that was fine because it matched the one in his belly, rolling slowly under his skin. "Only for you," he managed, pushing back to meet the fingers. Put me back together, find me Sam.


There was something in Gabriel's eyes, a need that wasn't lust. "What do you want?" he asked, soft in Gabriel's ear. "Whatever it is, I'll give it to you."


"I don't know," Gabriel panted. He couldn't really express his thoughts - they were glittering pieces of his desires, asking for something he couldn't understand. Make me fell like I matter. He couldn't say them aloud, the selfish thoughts. "You. I'm tired of feeling broken." He nuzzled Sam's cheek.


Something inside Sam cracked. He wrapped his arms around Gabriel. "I'm not going to fix you," he breathed, close and soft. "I can't."


For a moment Gabriel couldn't breathe, and the hotel room was hushed until his next breath. He smiled, experiencing a clarity he couldn't ever remember having until it washed over him again. Gabriel pushed at Sam's hands, twisting so he could turn around. "Can I tell you something secret?"


Sam smiled, pulling both hands back to himself. "Of course," he murmured, a little derailed. He'd paused for a reason, had wanted explain that there was nothing wrong with Gabriel - there never had been. Ergo, nothing to fix.


Gabriel's hair fell forward, slightly veiling him as he spoke. "I never liked things that weren't a little broken. Then I became one. So I need someone else...who." He looked up at Sam. "You know?"


"Mm," Sam murmured. "You're perfect the way you are, Gabe. I love the wa you are, no 'fixing' needed."


Gabriel watched him quietly, thinking he hadn't explained it right. He'd try again another time when he knew just how to say it. "I'm not." Gabriel leaned over to press a chaste kiss to his chest. "But okay." He pretended that something in his chest didn't flutter nervously at the 'love' word.


Sam took Gabriel's shoulders in his hands, held him still. "You think there's something wrong with you," he said quietly, "don't you?"


"No," he said honestly. Gabriel didn't feel wrong.


Sam searched Gabriel's eyes for a long moment. "Then you don't need fixing," he mumbled. "You're perfect."


Gabriel was a cup pushed off a counter. It wasn't wrong, just broken. "Okay," he said, letting it go. He smiled at Sam, "All right."


It was obvious that Gabriel was trying to appease Sam, and for now, Sam would take it. "Come on," he murmured, turned them and sprawled Gabriel on his back.


Gabriel went as directed, letting Sam move him about as he pleased. He stroked his fingers across Sam's cheek, knew he'd put that look in his eyes.


Sam crouched over Gabriel, ghosting his lips from his temple to his cheek, down to his neck. "I want to do this every night," Sam said, gaze sharp. "So you know how loved you are."


Eyes fluttering shut, Gabriel nodded, pulling his lip between his teeth. Every night. Permenence.


Dropping his weight to rub against Gabriel like an overly large cat, Sam let out a soft purr and reached down between them to tease Gabriel's thighs. "Let me?"


Gabriel hooked a leg over Sam's hip, smiling, "Mm, yeah."


Sam eased over his younger lover, fingers rubbing into soft muscle as he aligned himself and gently pressed in, his breath hitching slightly as he realized just how close they were.


Gabriel steadied a hand over Sam's chest, watching his face as he pressed in. It was...so much different than fingers, a slow fusing, and Gabriel lifted his hips, tried to help or something. He made a long low noise in his throat, skin buzzing with the stretch.


Sam gasped a little as Gabriel shifted--it had been a long time, okay--and shifted, pressing deeper, until he was fully seated inside Gabriel, his breath stuttering and stumbling out of him. "Jesus fucking Christ," he rasped. "Gabriel, fuck."


"That's the idea," Gabriel gasped out, unable to help himself. He pulled Sam down for a kiss, shaking a little. "If I forget your name too," he refered to Sam's earlier comment of what he'd be reduced to, "Don't take it personally."


Sam licked into Gabriel's mouth, gentle, always gentle, and rocked against him, into him, setting a slow, easy pace. It was almost too much for him to bear, almost enough to make him come right there, but he held off, arms shaking where he was holding himself up.


Gabriel smoothed his hands over Sam's arms as if it would brush the shakes away. He murmured a string of encouragement yeah, c'mon babe, Sam - and moved with him, meeting each gentle push with one of his own. Gabriel suckled lightly on Sam's lip and then stroked himself gently with one hand, knuckles brushing occasionally against Sam's belly.


Babe. Sam liked it; it implied I'll take care of you and safety and protection, and it was weird because he was used to providing that for Gabriel, not the other way around. He reached down, brushing his lover's hand fondly away and stroking Gabriel himself, keeping the pace even with his thrusts. He picked up a little, unwilling to push too hard but aware that Gabriel wasn't going to snap in half.


Mouth falling open slightly, Gabriel curled up, breathing against Sam's skin. He felt feverish, a little bit drunk on his lover's touch - around him, in him, on him. He could contentedly curl up in a memory of this moment and never think of anything again - Sam, Sam, Sam.


Sam pressed down, trembling violently. He could feel a rush building, tingling along his spine, and he pressed his mouth to Gabriel's neck, gasping, "Close," his rhythm stuttering and his stomach tightening. "Gabriel, Gabe."


Barely thinking about it, Gabriel hooked his ankles around Sam's back and tried to meet every thrust harder. He was gasping, blindly rocketting along with his comet of a lover, "Do it, yeah, Sam-"


Sam shuddered, burying his face in Gabriel's neck and gasping his name a final time as his hips snapped forward, pace rapidly quickening. It only took a few more thrusts, Sam's fists clenched on either side of Gabriel, to send him off the edge. It was the first truly intense orgasm Sam had had in a while, and he shivered his way through it, clutching Gabriel to him, still rocking.


The sudden change of speed gave Gabriel the push he needed, giving a bitten off cry as came a second time. He mouthed secrets silently to the open air, things he'd never say aloud, and clung to Sam, his fingers pressing tightly into his skin.


Gabriel tightening around him made Sam gasp sharply, hands tightening on Gabriel's arms. He felt bared, open, vulnerable, and he didn't care. He trusted Gabriel. Shuddering still, he slid down, careful not to put too much weight on Gabriel, and rested against him, thrills of shivers trilling down his spine. "Perfect," he murmured, eyes half-closed.


Gabriel curled around Sam, breath still hiccupping in his chest. He pressed his cheek to Sam's skin, listened to the thudding of his heart, smiling. For the first time in months he felt like nothing but Gabriel. More accurately - Gabriel, Sam's.


Sam rolled to his side, pulling Gabriel flush against him and gently separating them, his leg slipping between Gabriel's as he circled his lover in his arms, holding him closer. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, lips pressed into Gabriel's hair.


"Y'so warm," Gabriel mumbled back, burrowing sleepily against Sam's chest. He breathed deeply against his skin, the salty taste of sweat sharp on his parted lips. "Mmm."


Smiling, Sam rubbed his hand down Gabriel's spine. "I love you," he said softly, so softly, and tucked Gabriel up closer to him, curling around him, protective. He has, for a while now, but the issue with Gabriel's age always cropped up, always made itself known. Now he's just fucked the kid; age clearly isn't factored in.


"Yeah," Gabriel said distantly, which could have been any number of things- agreement and reciprocation, or simple confirmation. It was mostly to prevent a Silence, and to take place of thing Gabriel had never been able to bring himself to say quite so seriously, even if he meant and felt it. He tried again, afraid that Sam would misunderstand, "Can I keep you?"


Sam chucked his fist up lightly under Gabriel's chin, tilting his head up so he could look him in the eyes. "Of course. As long as you want me," he responded, eyes kind and soft. He liked how he could be like this with Gabriel. Gabriel never made him angry, never set off the thing inside him. He pressed his lips to the tip of Gabriel's nose. "And you're mine."


Mine. The word curled hot through Gabriel's chest, eyelashes fluttering at the kiss. "Until you get tired of me," he said, though he privately knew he'd be Sam's even then. He tipped his face further up, kissing lazily at Sam's chin, and then again further down his neck. "Yours."


Sam tipped his head back for Gabriel, baring his throat. "I doubt that'll happen," he murmured. "You know I won't leave you, right? Even if this--" a gesture "--doesn't work out."


Gabriel sucked a row of dark bruises along Sam's collar, slowly laving the skin afterwards with careful licks. "No promises," Gabriel told him. Promises had never worked out well for him. He didn't want to think of the emptiness his life would be without Sam, now that he'd had him for so long. "I'll take you as long as I get."


"You get a long, long time," Sam whispered. He moaned quietly at the press of bruises and cupped Gabriel's cheek again, staring down into his eyes. He could see just a little bit of the kid Gabriel had been creeping back in. "You okay?"


Gabriel debated briefly with himself, but ended up smiling - faint, but honest. "I don't feel broken." He normally did. Gabriel wondered belatedly if Sam knew that. "I'm good." Not fine - good.


Sam watched the nuances of his expressions and then dipped his head for a kiss. "I want you to be happy with me," he murmured, his own expression honest. "It's all I've ever wanted from you."


"Don't be stupid," Gabriel said, mouth quirking, "Of course I'm happy with you." He rubbed his fingers into Sam's back, slowly messaging. "I just...don't want you to always have to take care of me. Wanna be okay, for you." Flushing slightly, he tipped his face away from Sam's.


Sam's heart skipped a beat. "Gabe..." He rubbed his fingers along the line of Gabriel's jaw, turning his head again. "Don't push, don't force. It takes time, and I'm more than happy with you, now. You know that."


Gabriel confessed into the palm of Sam's hand, light eyes steady on Sam's, "I wanna be okay for me, too." I just wanna be okay.


That was different. "Okay," Sam said softly. "Okay, I get it." He pressed his palm to Gabriel's cheek, then slid down to kiss him again. "Let's get some sleep, mm? Long drive tomorrow."




Gabriel spent most of his time either in the bed or the window seat, after the incident, usually wrapped up in a thin blanket and staring off until someone on the staff came to get him. It was a window seat day, and with his head tipped against the window, pinpoint pupils watched the clouds slide by.


Sam had been away for three days. He didn't want to be, but Dean had invited him to stay for a couple days, which meant he had to go. It was Dean, after all. The moment he got back into Chicago, Sam headed straight for the shelter, more than happy about being able to see Gabriel again.

He pushed Gabriel's door open, far beyond knocking now, and slipped in. "Hey! How're--" Sam paused, taking in the scene. Gabriel was in the window seat, not unusual, but his posturing was all wrong, and the bed looked... made. "Gabe?"


Gabriel slowly turned his head at the voice, frowning slightly in confusion for a moment at the man. Eventually something fell into place at the back of his mind. "Oh. Sam." It even took effort to say those two small words. So much effort to say those two small words. He looked back out the window.


Something was wrong. "Gabriel." Sam forgot about the door and practically flew to the other side of the room, crouching by the windowseat. "Gabriel. Look at me. Now."


He turned to look again, too quickly, and the room went spinning around him. Gabriel squeezed his eyes shut until the feeling passed, breath quickening for a moment. He blinked again, focusing on Sam's face.


Sam reached out, touched his thumb under Gabriel's eye. His pupil was constricted, surrounded by gold. "Shit. What did they give you, Gabe? What happened?"


Gabriel lifted and dropped one shoulder, one hand sketching out a vague shape in the air. "I was...angry. I think." He had to push the words from his mouth, almost watching them form off his tongue. Shapes of lettersounds fading invisible in the air.


Shit. Sam caressed Gabriel's cheek and gave him a swift kiss on the forehead before standing. "I'll be right back," he mumbled, heading out into the hallway. He found his supervisor as swiftly as he could and got the story. Someone had been talking to Gabriel, and Gabriel had just gone off on the kid, so now he was on lorazepam. For now. And then, apparently, she wanted to move him off onto a lower-key drug, one for bipolar disorder.

Sam argued vehemently, but there was nothing he could do. Gabriel was down and drugged for at least the next sixteen hours. He headed dejectedly back to Gabriel's room and, once there, locked the door and tossed himself on Gabriel's bed. "Can y'move?"


Eyes fluttering open, Gabriel had a moment of disorientation as he tried to figure out where he was. He'd dozed off again, lost time. When looked over at Sam he was a little surprised to see him there.

Gabriel made a soft sound of agreement, dropping one leg and then the other off the seat, pausing a moment to get his bearings. He eyed the space between him and the bed, unsteadily getting to his feet, blanket trailing behind him. By the time Gabriel had slumped down on the edge of the bed he was breathing heavier, blinking at Sam like coming out of a fog. "Hi," he breathed. What was he doing, again?


"Hey," Sam murmured. He slid down and lifted Gabriel like he was nothing, one arm under his shoulders and the other at his knees. He laid him down on the bed and clambered up, then draped the blanket over them both. "Warm?" He hated seeing Gabriel like this. Gabriel like this was worse than the skittish, scared kid he'd dealt with upon Gabriel's arrival. Much worse.


Sam was a flurry of movement and Gabriel gulped air, searching for that place of stillness again. He felt so frail, like glass. Floating glass, suspended in Sam's arms, the windows of the stained glass museum, laid to rest in cases the size of the bed they were sitting on.

....was he warm? The question filtered in, the memory of it catching up with him. Was he warm. ...Yes, he was. "Mhm."


Sam stroked Gabriel's back and sighed, tucking his arm back under his head. It was going to be a long, long night, if this was how Gabriel was going to be the whole time. He pressed his lover a little closer and tightened his grip. "You'll be okay, Gabe, I promise.


Gabriel went limp against him, his body surrendering to Sam's hold without a second thought. Trust... - that he did remember, could feel it in him somewhere, a brightness in his clouded memory. "Trust...you."


That earned Gabriel a soft smile. "I know. I trust you too." Sam kept Gabriel up closer to him, holding on. He was tired from his drive, but he wasn't going to sleep unless he was sure Gabriel wouldn't manage to kill himself on something while he did.


Resting, especially on his side, Gabriel could feel himself slowing. The space between breaths dragged, and when he inhaled it hitched in his throat, pulling him out of his light doze. Gabriel pressed fingers to the chest in front of him, pressing with distant confusion.


Sam glanced down at Gabriel's fingers pressed to his chest and caught them gently, tangling his fingers in them to give Gabriel something solid to hold on to. "How're you feeling?"


"Foggy," Gabriel muttered at him. He ran his thumb over Sam's hand, following the tiny lines imprinted in his skin. There was something important he had to tell Sam. It lingered there, somewhere at the corner of his thoughts, and he couldn't quite touch it.


Sam nuzzled Gabriel's temple, tightened his arm around his shoulders and brought them closer. "That'll go away. They're taking you off the drugs. I talked to someone." He sighed, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry, Gabe. This shouldn't have happened."


It was difficult for the room to spin when Gabriel was pressed this closely to Sam. The steadiness was reassuring, though his shallow breaths still kept dragging him back from the edges of sleep. "Was it m'brother?"


Sam turned his head, eyebrows furrowing. "Huh?"


"You-" A breath. "Talked to." A shiver tore through Gabriel, one long flinch against Sam. When it passed he tried to remember what he was talking about. "Luce. They said." Something... He frowned, thinking.


Breath freezing in his chest, Sam stilled slowly, then turned, pushing Gabriel back so he could look at him. "What? What about your brother?"


Gabriel's head lolled on his shoulders, dizzy. "They called Luce," he told Sam. Some distant feeling gripped his chest - Gabriel couldn't quite put a name to it.


Panic settled hard and cold in Sam's stomach. "No," he muttered, horrified. That meant Gabriel's brother knew where he was. Knew how to get to him. Shit. He curled Gabriel tightly to him. "I won't let him take you back," he mumbled. "I swear."


He turned his face to the warmth of Sam's chest, giving a soft sigh. "Okay," he said, without being completely aware of what he was agreeing to.


"Sleep, Gabe," Sam said quietly, stroking Gabriel's back. "Be better if you do that; it'll get the drug out of your system faster. Mm?"


Gabriel muttered some sort of garbled agreement and fell into a restless doze, only really relaxing when he occasionally woke up to find Sam where with him.


Sam dozed as well, not waking until the sun had set. Gabriel was still curled tight to him, head resting in the crook of his arm, one arm across his stomach. Sam turned a little and brushed Gabriel's hair back from his forehead. "Gabe. Hey."


Gabriel stirred slowly, sluggishly recognizing Sam as he woke. A smile stretched across his mouth and he winked up at Sam, shifting under the covers. "Hey."


Thank God. "Hey," Sam repeated, voice soft. He shifted over, pulling Gabriel a little over him. "Feeling better?"


He felt a little disoriented as he moved, as if he'd been sleeping too long, or not enough. Gabriel frowned at this, twisting experimentially - it only made it worse. "Wh...what happened? When did you get here?" He tried to push himself up.


"Whoa, hey, no. Stay still." Sam tightened his arms. "You got in a fight with someone. They drugged you. I got here ear--yesterday," he amended, glancing at the clock.


"They what." Gabriel forced his thoughts into working order, trying to recall. He remembered the fight, some of it, shouting, the burn of his anger, but everything after that was a blur of half-memories. He breathed out harshly, panic sinking in.


Sam rubbed Gabriel's back, trying to calm him. "Gabe, easy, easy. They thought you weren't going to calm down, so they gave you lorazepam. It's wearing off."


"They drugged me..." Gabriel pressed silently against Sam, fingertips to his lips as if to keep any other words from escaping. He couldn't tell if he was more angry or upset about it


"I know. I bitched them out, believe me." Sam curled Gabriel close to him and wrapped his arms around him, nosing against his temple. "You're safe now, Gabe."


He made a noise, whispered against Sam's neck, "Until the next time." It could happen again, Gabriel knew. It could always happen again.


"It won't." Sam's voice was firm. "I'm getting you out of here. Today."


A deep warmth flared in his chest, and Gabriel breathed a question. "Can you do that?" His Sam - a tower stronghold of a man? Perhaps it wasn't a question of could but rather, are you allowed.


Sam shrugged. "I don't care if I can or not." He hesitated. "Gabe--do you remember last night at all?"


Gabriel thought about it for a moment, wondering about the strange tone of Sam's voice. "Some? Mostly just sleeping. And you."


Fabulous. Sam rolled his bottom lip between his teeth. "They called your brother."


Gabriel went stiff and cold, an unpleasant thrill icing him all in one go. He almost asked which one, but it didn't matter, not really. "Is he...coming here?" A sinking feeling took up residence in his chest. He was running through plans of escape, hardly remembering what Sam had said about taking him away.


"Yeah." Sam's skin prickled. He spread his palms flat in the center of Gabriel's back. "I won't let him touch you, Gabriel. I swear it."


Won't let him touch you. It was Luce that they'd talked to, then. Gabriel moved to press himself close to Sam, close as he could possibly go, even though it made him sick with dizziness. He didn't even bother trying to tell Sam not to promise - somehow Gabriel knew he'd keep this one.


Sam turned on his side, tucked a leg over Gabriel's and pulled him into his chest. His jaw tightened. "Maybe we should... wait here. I mean..." He shook his head, tipped Gabriel's head up. "I don't want him finding us at home."


Gabriel's first instinct was to run and keep running, never see his brother's face again, never look at him and remember what he'd done. What had happened. He also knew that if he did that, then it'd be something that would haunt him, linger in the back of his mind, for the rest of his life. "No..." Gabriel said quietly. "I...want to see him."


One eyebrow quirked, but Sam didn't question. Instead, he slipped up and away, opened the window, and murmured, "I'm gonna run to the bathroom. I'll get us water." He needed a moment to gather himself, to think. If he really did have to see Luce, there was a good chance Gabriel would see the side of Sam that Sam had tried so hard to hide. And that--Sam almost couldn't handle that.


Gabriel laid back in the bed, contemplating the open window. Against his collar, Sam's pendant and key were a reassuring weight on his skin. An itchy sense of paranoia, a familiar friend to his senses, crouched at the edges of Gabriel's awareness. Every sound, every footstep in the hall, and Gabriel was sent wondering Is that Luce? How long do I have? When is he coming?.


Sam let himself back into the room after a good ten minutes and handed a bottle of water over to Gabriel. He stripped off his shirt--air conditioning was shit--and took the edge of the bed, curled over his knees. "Gabe?"


Gabriel's eyes had followed his movements as soon as he stepped back in, hands taking the bottle and uncapping it without looking away. "Sam," he replied, evenly. His appreciative gaze drifted slightly, over his bared skin, and then slipped back up to his face.


"There's something you should know," Sam murmured, his eyes on his knees, hands folded around the water bottle he had clasped between his fingers. "About me."


Gabriel twisted the bottlecap back on and nodded, waiting. He tried not to imagine the things that Sam could be keeping secret - it was Sam, right? It was Sam.


Sam took a sip of water, capped the bottle, uncapped it, recapped it, the muscles across his back flexing. "When I, um. When I was a kid, I was in therapy. For anger management."


Gabriel relaxed, but only slightly, because it wasn't something terrifyingly horrible like he would have imagined if he'd given himself a chance to. Anger management. Gabriel had a temper. So did Luce. Gabriel remembered seeing glimpses of Sam's, that day in the doctor's office. "Okay."


"No. Not okay." Sam's voice was quiet. "I... If your brother pisses me off enough, you'll have to hold me back." He dipped his head, eyes on the floor. "I'll try to kill him."


Gabriel breathed once, twice, and sipped briefly from his water before speaking again. "Is...it like that with...anyone?" He didn't want to be afraid of Sam. Didn't want to think about that, anything like that. Sam would never. ...


Sam whirled, eyes wide on Gabriel's. "No. No-I would never hurt you, Gabe. I would never. But him--I..." He shook his head. "I have a reason to hate him, and if he provokes me enough, I'll just... snap."


Gabriel nodded, thinking about it quietly. "I...love my brother, Sam. Even after what he did. But maybe I should talk to him alone..."


"I'm not leaving you alone with him," Sam said softly. He understood loving family despite horrible things, and he couldn't bring himself to blame Gabriel. "I can't."


Gabriel crawled over to Sam, dragging his blanket with him. He sat in front of him, knee to knee, and reached out to stroke his cheek lightly. "I want the fighting to be over...so you can't hurt him, okay?" He knew it wouldn't be easy for Sam.


Sam clenched his jaw, turned his face into Gabriel's touch. "I know," he mumbled. "What are you going to say to him?"


"I dunno," Gabriel admitted. "It'll come to me." Or he'd just say nothing, just sit there and stare at his brother. Maybe it'd be his temper that would blaze uncontrolled.


Fingers trailing along Gabriel's arm, Sam leaned forward, closer, and rested his forehead against Gabriel's. "Gabe, what happened with your brothers?"


In the moderate safety of the room, Gabriel whispered his past to Sam, telling him plainly how Daddy was a preacher, and Michael was the eldest, the perfect son. Luce was rebellious, and Michael was told to beat the devil out of him. Gabriel was the baby brother, doted on and humoured, but he got in the way, and Luce don't make me do this Gabriel beat the devil out of him.


It was the most Sam had ever heard Gabriel say at one time; he didn't run his mouth the way Sam did, and in a way, it was nice to hear him say everything on his mind. "More than once?" he finally managed, hands rubbing Gabriel's shoulders.


"For my own good, right?" Gabriel choked out. He tucked his face in the crook of his arm, having drawn his knees to his chest long before then.


Sam's chest tightened. He leaned forward, draped himself over and around Gabriel, cradling his body to Sam's side and chest. "What he did wasn't right," Sam murmured, low in his ear, lips brushing the shell of it. "You know that. He wasn't right about you--anything he said about you."


"He didn't say anything," Gabriel muttered. Not until he'd ran off, and by then, Gabriel was a coward in his own eyes. He tucked himself against Sam, wondering quietly, "Were you...always angry? Or did something happen to you to?" It was a lot to ask


Sam nuzzled affectionately against Gabriel, arms tight. "Dunno," he said softly. "I didn't really talk to people when I was a kid. I didn't see a lot of good in people. I read books." He shrugged. "When I was twelve someone shoved me into a locker. Broke my nose. I turned around and almost killed him. I just... I guess it was from years of letting people say what they wanted to my face and not reacting."


Gabriel made a soft noise of sympathy. He couldn't help but say, "...you could fit in a locker?" His hands ran appreciatively over the long planes of Sam's back, trying to imagine him narrow and gangly.


"Oh, no--Like, into." Sam tapped his hand against the wall. "I was six foot by the time I was twelve, babe. I don't think I would have fit." He arched his back lightly into Gabriel's hands.


Gabriel laughed softly, "Oh, gotcha...Jesus. No one snatched you up?" He shifted around, folding himself closely among Sam's limbs. "I woulda." Nevermind the fact that if Sam were twelve, Gabriel would have been half his age.


Sam chuckled. "I was the odd kid out," he said softly. "Until high school, really. And then I was the odd kid out in my family." He shrugged, pulled Gabriel up closer. "You know."


"I know," Gabriel agreed, breathing against Sam's skin for a moment. "Are you staying? Or you gonna go home." He tried hard to make his opinion on the matter not apparent, though he clearly wanted Sam to stay. He always wanted Sam to stay.


"Staying," Sam mumbled. "They don't want me taking you out of your room, so I'll stay tonight and then tomorrow we'll fill out the papers to get you out of here."


"What if..." Gabriel's mouth twisted, "What if Luce tries to take me back? Won't they have to turn me over to him?"


Sam's jaw clenched. "The doctors saw you. They recorded that you were abused. If he tries, they'll threaten to use a lawyer to keep you."


Gabriel nodded, a litttle relieved, even if it meant legalities. He smiled against Sam. "You a lawyer yet?"


Sam chuckled. "Not yet, kid. Two more years." He pressed his lips to Gabriel's temple, rubbed his fingers into what he knew was a sensitive spot just below Gabriel's ribs, dipping the tips of his fingers into the soft skin of his side.


Gabriel hummed, melting into the touch quite happily. More than the pressure of Sam's fingers on him, it was the fact that Sam knew where to touch him that made him grin widely.


"There's my smile," Sam murmured, tucking his face into Gabriel's neck and suckling gently, just above his collarbone.


Gabriel tipped his head to give Sam more room, tracing his hands along Sam's lower back. "Yours, hm~?" He liked the sound of that.


"Mine," Sam responded, leaving no room for argument. He nosed the hollow of Gabriel's throat and arched his back again, pushing his spine into Gabriel's touch.


"Hells yeah.." A thrill rushed through Gabriel - the idea was still new enough to give him that tipsy feeling. He messaged along the base of Sam's spine, hands slipping beneath his shirt.


Sam slid back without hesitation and slipped off his shirt, then shifted Gabriel a little and lay back, watching him. "You know I love you," he said quietly, eyes on his younger lover.


"Yeah," Gabriel told him, staying where he was, his fingers painting words over Sam's covered thighs. His thumb ran a track along the inside seam of the jean, bumping over the stitches. He only half met Sam's eyes, telling him, "It's mutual."


Sam's eyes softened. "Good," he said quietly, crooked his leg up and brought Gabriel's hand to his own, tangling their fingers together. "I wasn't sure."


Gabriel kissed each of Sam's fingers silently and then pressed another to the inside of his wrist. "I never liked 'I love you' 'I love you too'..." He flushed, mumbling, "I think it should be heartfelt, not automatic."


"I like that," Sam murmured, lips quirking upward. He tugged Gabriel toward him, fingers seeking out the nape of his neck, rubbing circles there.


Gabriel's eyes were clear, though they were half-lidded. A lingering sleepiness from the drugs made itself known in Gabriel's limbs, heavy and content to rest against Sam.


Sam stroked the back of Gabriel's neck, then tugged at the hem of his t-shirt. "Off," he murmured, wanting bare skin against bare skin.


Though disgruntled about having to move, he was perfectly happy to comply with such a request. Gabriel shimmied out of his shirt, flicking it in the general direction of the floor with one hand. He immediately slid up to Sam after, his chest rubbing flat over Sam's.


Sam's fingers slid down, tracing Gabriel's inked back. He let out a quiet, pleased noise at the slide of Gabriel's skin over his and bit down on his shoulder, gentle and possessive.


Gabriel made a pleasant sound and curled his fingers against Sam's nape. He settled into Sam's lap and rocked gently against him. Gabriel couldn't wait for when every night would be like this - hazy and dreamlike, blankets askew over their shared bed.


"I don't have anything," Sam said softly, pressing the tips of his fingers to the base of Gabriel's spine, where it dipped and curved off. "With me."


"That's okay," Gabriel murmured, settling in. He licked a little along Sam's jaw, dropped a kiss there. "I like this." He liked the closeness, and the intimacy of skin against skin. The gentle buzz beneath his skin was pleasant enough for him. "Unless you've got something in mind?" Maybe Sam wanted something more.


"No." Sam grinned, turning his face into Gabriel's neck and mouthing the curve of his neck where it met his shoulder. He squirmed a little, repositioned Gabriel, and dragged his fingers up and down his lover's spine, over and over. "This is perfect."


He shivered twice, the second one rocketting down his spine with surprising force. It was like he hadn't seen Sam in weeks, not days. "Y'say that a lot," Gabriel noted, "Perfect." It still wasn't a word that he quite trusted, or knew very well.


"Do I?" Sam's touch feathered, turning teasing, and then he pressed down again, tracing every ridge of his spine. "I like it. It fits you."


Gabriel twisted, one slow rotation as Sam's hand dropped lower. He felt like a cat, arching to Sam's every touch, half caught between want and some teasing notion of need. He didn't even think to be uncomfortable with Sam's association, and only offered a mumbled protest.


Sam purred softly, rubbing his hands into Gabriel's sides, his back, indulging his every sensitive spot and stroking him like a cat until he had Gabriel melted into his hands. He pressed his lips to Gabriel's ear, murmuring his name low and soft.


Flushed and over-warm, Gabriel peeled himself away, tumbling back onto the bed with one arm flung over his face. He breathed dizzily for a moment, long swallows of breath, his leg running lazily along Sam's side. "Nng, fuck..." Gabriel's skin was buzzing all over, little electric touches of sensation lighting repeatedly.


Leaning over, Sam pressed a kiss to the inside of Gabriel's wrist. "You okay, babe?" he murmured, resting on his side, head propped up on one elbow.


"Winding me up, Sam," Gabriel told him, as if it were a secret. He rolled over onto his stomach, tipping his head to rest on folded arms so he could watch Sam. Gabriel sighed, long and content, rolling lowly in the back of his throat.


Sam grinned, nosing against Gabriel's shoulder. "I'll get you off," he said, setting his chin on his lover's chest. "I don't mind."


Gabriel groaned, mouth closed, and buried his face in the crook of his elbow. "What about you?" He asked, voice muffled.


"I'm all right." Hand creeping down Gabriel's stomach, Sam nosed closer, wrapping his free arm around Gabe's shoulders. "Want me to?"


Gabriel turned his face to peer at him again, lower lip sucked lightly between his teeth. He let it drop free with a soft sound, and nodded. "Yeah,' he said thickly.


Sam grinned and nudged Gabriel onto his back, hand seeking out the hem of his sweatpants. "You know you're gorgeous, right?"


Gabriel lifted his arms above his head, twisting his fingers into the mussed bedsheets. "Certain Sam's have told me so, yes."


Lips pressed to Gabriel's chest, Sam took the skin lightly between his teeth as he pushed Gabriel's sweatpants down and took him in hand, thumb stroking over the head as he shifted closer, cradling his shoulders. "You believe me?"


Gabriel shifted, licking over dry lips. He couldn't look away from Sam, and reached out to brush dark hair from his eyes. "I trust you," he murmured, which wasn't the same thing.


"Trust me to tell you the truth, then," Sam murmured, tipped his head into Gabriel's touch. He brought his hand up and licked across his palm, then wrapped it around his lover's cock again, stroking more firmly this time.


Gabriel's head dropped back, his mouth falling open on a moan. He didn't know what he did to make Sam call him all those pretty things, so he set them out of mind. "Okay," Gabriel breathed, blinking back at him, "Okay."


Sam nuzzled him, ever-affectionate, and purred as he moaned, his eyes darkening. "That's it," he murmured, thumb slipping in precome, arm tightening.


Gabriel reached for Sam, wanting him close for this, always close. His hips rolled up into Sam's hand, moving in shallow arches. He whispered his lover's name, the sound of it breaking across his tongue as he shuddered.


Shifting obediently closer, Sam pressed his lips to Gabriel's cheek, his own breath coming faster. "Beautiful," he murmured, snuggling close to Gabriel's side and working his wrist faster, encouraging him with soft praises.


Gabriel turned, lips sliding across to meet with Sam's, loose and unhurried, swallowing his words. He hooked an ankle over Sam's knee and pulled himself closer, one sudden push of his hips he didn't mean making him groan heavily.


Sam grinned and bit sharply down on Gabriel's bottom lip, quickening his pace, his expression devilish. "Gonna come for me?" he murmured, licking at Gabriel's lips again and pulling him closer.


He jerked at the bite, eyes going wide as he gasped, and Gabriel wrapped on arm over Sam's shoulder to hold on. He bucked up into Sam's hold, his body moving in one smooth ripple against him. "Yeah," he chanted against the other man's cheek, "Yeah, Sam." He was almost there, shaking.


"Come on," Sam murmured, lips pressed to Gabriel's ear, tucking him up close, his thumb swiping once, spreading precome, his wrist flicking, twisting. "God, Gabe, you're so beautiful..."


Gabriel's back arched towards Sam, one last breath sticking in his throat as he came. His hips jerked inelegantly, Gabriel making some scrambled sound as the tension dissolved, leaving him limp and sweaty in Sam's hold.


Sam held him through it, arm wrapped tight around him, grounding him. His fingers slipped in the come sticking to Gabriel's stomach, swiping it up. Sam licked his fingers clean and pressed his face into the crook of Gabriel's neck, inhaling his scent.


Gabriel's nerves jolted, watching Sam lick his fingers, through half-mast eyes. He had just enough presence of mind to let his fingers drift low on Sam's belly, humming a question.


"I'm fine," Sam murmured, nosing close and reaching down, taking Gabriel's hand. "I just wanted... y'know, to give you something." He laughed, brought the hand to his lips. "Make you feel good."


He caressed the swell of Sam's mouth with his fingertips, touch dragging at the corner of the smile. "Y'always make me feel so good," Gabriel told him, lazily honest. He stretched out, body flexing as he did so. A little bit of his Tennessee slipped through, just a touch of it for a moment. Gabriel stroked Sam's cheek. "So good to me..."


Sam chuckled at the accent, mouthing Gabriel's fingers briefly before pushing him gently onto his side, facing away from Sam so Sam could trace his tattoo. "You deserve it."


Gabriel knew the pattern of his tattoo well enough to know what Sam was doing. He tugged a pillow from the tangled sheets and curled around it, pulling the skin over his back taut. "Wanna do something nice for you," Gabriel planned aloud. He didn't know what, but it'd come to him eventually.


"When do you turn eighteen?" Sam murmured, abruptly but softly, lips between Gabriel's shoulderblades.


"March," Gabriel murmured, rolling his shoulders forward. He was seventeen, yes. Sadly, it was newly seventeen. Nearly a whole year until his next birthday.


Sam hummed. "Well, you'll have to wait til then. I think a year's enough time." He wrapped his arm around Gabriel's waist and tugged him back, mouthing the nape of his neck.


He rubbed a hand briefly over Sam's and then relaxed again. "Enough time for what?" Gabriel asked, with mild curiosity.


Snorting in response, Sam nosed under Gabriel's hair, nuzzling closer. "You'll see. You'll think it's stupid now, anyway. Too soon."


Gabriel slapped lightly at Sam's thigh, even though his eyes were slipping shut. "Gimmie a hint," he mumbled.


"It involves a ring," Sam said, faintly amused. "That's all I'm saying."


"A ring," Gabriel repeated sleepily, tangling their legs togther. "Like an arena or somethin'...?" He vaguely remembered talking about travelling somewhere when they were driving out to Navy Pier.


Sam snorted. "You're a moron sometimes, babe." He slid his leg between Gabriel's and reached for his left hand, rubbing his thumb over the third finger. "No. A ring. Jewelry ring."


Gabriel chuckled into the pillow as if he thought Sam was joking. "Gonna marry me, Sam?" He tucked himself against Sam, smiling to himself. "I wanna chocolate cake. With ribbons you can eat."


"I can get one of those," Sam responded, grinning into the back of Gabriel's shoulder. "And I'm serious." He pressed his lips to the side of his lover's neck. "The offer's open."


"Not fondant," Gabriel continued, squirming to get comfortable, completely off thinking about cakes, "Fondant tastes funny. Chewy..." He rubbed his cheek against the pillow. "A ring. Hm." He chuckled lightly.


Sam snickered, amused, and bit down on Gabriel's shoulder. "Don't go drifting off on me, you," he murmured. "I'll buy you whatever kind of cake you want if you marry me."


Gabriel bit back a laugh, rolling his shoulder away. "Marry you anyway, okay? Mmm."


Sam's fingers found the dip between Gabriel's ribs and his hip, fingers digging into sensitive skin. "Ticklish?" he purred in Gabriel's ear, sneaking a leg over both his lover's so he couldn't squirm away.


Gabriel jerked with a bitten-off squeak, suddenly very awake. He pushed at Sam's hands, wiggling. "Stoppit!"


Laugh bubbling up, Sam dug his fingers in harder, holding Gabriel in place. "Noooo~"


"Augh, Sam!" He twisted everywhich way, laughing helplessly. "F-fuck, cmon~" Gabriel buried his laughter into the pillow, muffling it.


Sam finally released him with a solid bite to the back of his shoulder, still chuckling at him. "I'm saving that for future use," he said, tucking one leg up and watching Gabriel, amused.


Gabriel flipped over when he could, giggles still hiccuping in his throat. He poked at Sam's chest, not too kindly, and complained, "Not fair."


"Life's not fair, short stuff." Sam tangled his fingers in Gabriel's hair, tugged him in for a kiss.


Gabriel hummed agreement into the kiss, completely forgiving him without really thinking abou it. When he pulled back a little, he smiled up at Sam, a little wicked glimmer in his eye. "Should be using your manhandling powers for good~"


"Who said I'm not?" Sam wrapped Gabriel in his arms, pulled him close. "Mmmm, I love you," he purred, teasingly swiping his fingers over the same spot before relaxing and draping himself over Gabriel.


It was easy to relax completely, with Sam blanketing him, a reassuring weight and warmth breathing into him. Gabriel twitched at the soft touch again, and quickly stuck his tongue out at Sam.


"Gee, that's mature." Sam pressed his face into Gabriel's neck and relaxed further, half-asleep. "Night, mm?"


Gabriel grinned, sprawling bonelessly. "G'night Sam."


Sam burrowed closer, surrounded by warmth and Gabriel's melted scent, and drifted to sleep content.


"Love you," Gabriel murmured, testing the sound of it off his tongue and letting it drift into the night air. He nodded off soon after, dreaming strange dreams about cakes and fondant, and a fortress named 'Sam.'







The next morning Gabriel woke early, stirring awake when the sunlight streamed in. It would have been picturesque, only there were bars, still, and no tree nearby for birds to nest in. Gabriel lazed about for as long as he could stand, before carefully extracting himself from Sam's hold, to clean up, change and thumb idly through a book. Buzzing in the back of his mind, the thought of his brother, coming here to see him, created a constant distraction.


Sam didn't awaken until half an hour into Gabriel's reading, and when he did he stirred, located Gabriel, and lazed over to push into his lap and curl up against him like a too-large cat. "Morning."


Gabriel rubbed his fingers over Sam's scalp, holding the book one-handed. "Hey~" He said softly, smiling down at him. He squinted in the sunlight, breath even and quiet. The drugs from the day before were practically a distant memory.


Sam nosed into Gabriel's stomach, still sleep-lazy and affectionate. "Time is it?"


"Almost ten," He told Sam. His fingers fidgeted with the pages of the book until Gabriel set it aside. "You kept me waiting," he teased.


Hand slipping up, fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of Gabriel's neck, Sam pulled him down for a kiss, more than making up for his late awakening. "Oops."


Gabriel made an amused sound, leaning into the kiss. "Got anywhere to be today?"


Sam shot him a dry look. "Nowhere except here, kid."


Hand raised, Gabriel shrugged. "Just asking."


"I told you, I'm not leaving you alone with him."


"I know," Gabriel said, rubbing his thumb along Sam's temple. "I was just asking..." Or perhaps seeing if Sam would change his mind and let Gabriel talk to Luce alone, but it didn't seem like that was going to happen willingly.


Sam sighed, more than aware that Gabriel had had ulterior motives. He turned, pressing his lips to the inside of Gabriel's wrist. "Gabe..."


"Yeah?" His fingers kept moving, distractedly.


"If they think, at all, that you want to go back to living with your brother, they're not gonna bother with a lawsuit."


"We should fill out those papers," Gabriel said quietly, "So I can go with you."


Sam let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding and leaned up, pressing his lips under Gabriel's jaw. "Yeah. Definitely."


Gabriel glanced down at him with slight surprise. "Did you think I didn't wanna go with you?"


"It was a passing thought, yeah," Sam confessed. "I just--don't want to force you into anything. Ever."


Gabriel blinked at him, "Don't be stupid. I love you...why wouldn't I go with you?"


Sam managed to compose himself enought to say, "Yeah, well. Just making sure." He nuzzled into the hollow of Gabriel's throat, fingers ghosting down his side.


"...you're such a girl," Gabriel muttered, tugging Sam close, even though he trying to ignore that fluttery feeling in his chest.


"You love me anyway," Sam responded. "And you're the girl."


"I do," Gabriel confirmed, "And whatever. I'm hungry." He poked at Sam's shoulder.


"I'll get you food," Sam groaned, rolling off Gabriel and onto the floor. "You're still confined to room for fighting." He arched an eyebrow at Gabriel. "How'd that happen, by the way?"


Gabriel shook his head slightly, "I don't really remember. Just...a lot of shouting." His gaze slid to the side as he tried to recall. All he could remember was the feel of how angry he'd been. Just really, really angry.


"Let's not do that again," Sam mumbled, tousling Gabriel's hair. "You drugged is not a fun experience for either of us."


"That isn't my fault," Gabriel grumbled. He looked apologetic though, sorry that Sam had to take care of him...again. He was always taking care of him.


"No, it wasn't." Sam pulled Gabriel to his feet and draped his arms over him. "What's that face for?


"Y're always taking care of me," Gabriel said into Sam's chest.


"And?" Sam nuzzled into Gabriel's hair, hands stroking his back.



"Wish you didn't have to."


"You're seventeen," Sam said mildly. "You're not perfect. And I like it. Makes you mine."


"You like doing it?" Gabriel asked skeptically. He leaned back to peer up at Sam.


"Is that so hard to believe?" Sam leaned back, looking down at Gabrile, both eyebrows raised.


Gabriel gave him a look, and slowly raised an eyebrow at him. Um..yeah? it said clearly


Sam shrugged. "You always say I'm weird, babe," he said by way of explanation, and tightened his arms.


"It's cause you are," Gabriel said. He didn't mean to make it sound so fond, but he supposed it didn't matter that Sam knew that.


Tucking the fingers of one hand under Gabriel's throat, Sam tugged him up for another kiss, the arm wrapped around his waist inching its fingers up his spine. "Then I have an excuse."



Gabriel wiggled up against him, smiling against Sam's mouth. "Yeah, okay."



"Right," Sam murmured, nuzzled Gabriel again. He pulled back, rubbed his hands through his younger lover's hair. "I'm gonna go get--"

He halted, voice sticking in his throat. He'd opened the door, but the way out wasn't empty. A man a couple inches shorter than Sam, slim, towheaded with bright blue eyes and Gabriel's smirk stood on the other side, hands in his pockets and casuel glint to his eyes.


Luce's gaze slid impersonally past Sam's shoulder, focusing completely on Gabriel. His smile curled tighter, and thought he genuinely seemed pleased to see him, there was something hard behind his gaze. "Hello, little brother," his voice was like smoke, light and drifting, as if there was open space between them and not a man taller and broader than he.

Gabriel rocked in place, instinctively wanting to back up a step, but being aware enough to stop himself from doing so. His chin slanted up slightly, defiant even if he felt that whispery shiver of nervousness. "Hey," he said shortly.

Luce gave him a reproachful look, canting his head slightly. "That's how you greet me? Hm."


Sam took a step back, away from Luce and toward Gabriel, but he didn't stand between them. He stepped off to the side, eyes on Gabriel. He'd let Gabriel handle it, would let him until Luce tried to get violent, tried to harm him. Then he would step in. If needed. But he knew Gabriel wanted to handle this on his own.


Gabriel moved forward slightly, his hands curled loosely at his sides. He'd thought he would have gotten some warning, maybe a little more time to come up with some things to say. He was slightly at a loss.

Luce was never at a loss. "So you've been slumming it here, have you?" He crossed the distance between them in two strides, crowding into Gabriel's space and making him look up at him if he wanted to hold his ground. "I hope you didn't catch...anything." Luce reached out to tug Gabriel's collar evenly. Gabriel rolled his shoulder, pretending that he didn't flinch.


Sam stepped forward, jaw clenched. "Listen," he snapped, though he was trying to be polite. "You can talk, do whatever--but you're not going to touch him." He reaches forward, pushes Gabriel back a step. "You touch him again, I'll make sure you have a broken bone in the place where you did."


"Sam..." Gabriel murmured. One hand automatically rose to stop him, but paused in midair and then dropped back to his side.

Luce turned to look at Sam as if seeing him for the first time. "Is this your keeper, Gabriel?" He locked gazes with Sam, smiling. "Or a watch dog? He does have that puppy look to him, doesn't he?"


Sam's gaze went flat, cold, but he didn't back up, didn't react again. He kept his hand loosely, protectively on Gabriel's shoulder, a constant supportive presence. He had stepped a little over the line, he knew. Gabriel still had to handle this.


It was ridiculous how much easier it was to breathe with the weight of Sam's hand curved over Gabriel's shoulder. He felt more grounded, less like he was going to pick up and drift away, only to be snagged in midair by Luce's hand on his ankle.

"Well, this was great," Gabriel said flatly, unblinking as his brother turned to look at him again. "But you should probably skedaddle."

Luce favoured him with an amused smile. "I've come to take you home, little brother. Don't be coy."

Gabriel stepped closer to Sam, glowering at his brother. He showed a touch of resolve he didn't really make much use of unless it involved his family. "I'm not going."


Sam tipped his head down, trying not to look surprised. He'd never seen Gabriel so forceful about something. "Yes," he said, lips quirking up in a small smile. "He's not going. The paperwork is finished--" no it wasn't, but it would be the moment Luce left "--and he's going home with me. Sorry about that."


"We're family, Gabriel," Luce said quietly, as if it still meant something to Gabriel. "We take care of each other. Michael will be heartbroken if I return alone."

At this Gabriel hesitated, not because he was going to change his mind, but because what Luce was saying to him was true - if there was one redeeming quality about his brother, it was that he didn't lie. Manipulative, yes, but not a liar.


Sam felt Gabriel pause and terror seized in him - but Gabriel had told him he wanted to be with Sam, and Sam trusted him. Believed him. Michael - he searched his memory. Michael. Michael was the brother Gabriel had talked about. The other brother. He tightened his fingers on Gabriel's shoulder and met Luce's gaze, calm for the moment. Gabriel wasn't going to be taken from him. He wouldn't let that happen.


Luce waited patiently, as if they were discussing where to eat lunch or something else equally mundane. He canted his head to the side slightly. "Come home, Gabriel."

Gabriel scoffed, slanting him a look. "Not this time, Luce. You're a dick, and I'm going with Sam."

Luce's eyes narrowed, glancing briefly at Sam and then back to his brother. "It was not a request. Stop being ridiculous."


Sam's gaze hardened. "He's coming home with me," he hissed, low and soft. "Because I'm a responsible adult that doesn't beat his sibling." His voice was poison, rough and sharp and bitingly low. "The paperwork's done. He's leaving with me." Jaw clenched, Sam tightened his hand and pulled Gabriel back a step.


Luce followed a step, arms hanging loose at his sides. "What a poor reason to steal my brother from his family." He stressed 'my' comfortably, as if used to emphasizing how possessive he was. "We raised him to be what he is. If it'd been any other way...he would have been different."


Sam's chest seized. "Don't you dare pretend you made him into who he is," he snarled. "All you did was traumatize a child and ostracize him from your family because he wanted peace." He pulled Gabriel further back, stepped between them. "If he let you mold him, he'd be much worse off than he is."


Luce examined Sam for a moment, the slight curve of a smile lingering at the corner of his mouth. "Suffering produces endurance," he murmured, a slow recital of a quote from the Bible, "And endurance produces character. He is better for his hardships."


Sam bared his teeth. "Fuck you," he snapped. "There's no reason to beat your brother. He was spaced when he came here. The only reason he's still sane is because he got away from you. Quote the Bible all you want - you didn't do shit to better him." He wrapped an arm around Gabriel's shoulders, pressed him to his side, protective.


Luce stepped away to pace, hands linked loosely behind his back as he idly examined Gabriel's accumilated possessions lying scattered about. "No," he concluded. "That he did himself." He looked at Gabriel, serious. "You wanted it to stop, little brother, because it hurt you to see us fight. But you never understood it, and I did what I had to do to teach you conviction - that is the difference of 'stop this, it doesn't feel right' and 'stop this, it isn't right'."

Gabriel turned his face slightly against Sam's shirt, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. "You should leave," he mumbled, but Luce didn't move.


Sam wrapped both arms around Gabriel, gentle, always gentle with him, but his expression was ice-cold, murderous. "Don't. You. Dare," he hissed. "What you did was wrong, and if you can't see that you won't have anything further to do with Gabriel." He felt Gabriel shiver, just slightly, and the muscles in his jaw flexed, teeth grinding. "Leave."


Luce leaned an arm on the dresser, crossing one ankle of the other. "You're awfully protective, having just met my brother. Why is that, I wonder." His gaze slid down. "Gabe?"

"Fuck off, Luce," Gabriel muttered. "Please, just get out."


Sam fought to control his breathing, tightened his arms. "Do as he says," he growled. "Get out. You have no business here."


"You know what else I find strange?" Luce completely ignored them both, and flipped through one of the books that were stacked on top of the dresser. "That the shelter would call me, if you were set to take him with you. Why they would even bother asking me to come pick him up."


"Because they didn't know then," Sam responded, voice hard. "Now, it's organized so he's coming with me, no negotiations." He pressed his hand between Gabriel's shoulders, pulled him closer.


Luce made a sound like a half-sigh and moved away from the dresser, going to stand in front of them again. He bent slightly, trying to catch Gabriel's gaze, but it slipped over him. "Stop hiding from me, Gabriel."

"'M not," the younger brother said petulantly. He pushed away from Sam, waving a hand in Luce's face, gaze hardening into something more sure and stubborn than it had been a few moments before. "If I'm going home with anyone, it's not gonna be with you."

Luce caught Gabriel's hand, holding the wrist firmly. "Think on what you're doing."

"Let me go," Gabriel said lowly. He had to fight to keep the tremble from his voice.


Sam snapped.

All the contained rage and all the times he'd sworn he wouldn't do this again exploded and convulsed in him, pitting his heart into darkness. He moved lightning-fast, bone crushing bone as he crushed the flat of his arm into Luce's and shoved him away from Gabriel, arm cutting across his chest as Sam snarled, slamming Luce back into the wall, arm tucking under his chin and against his throat.

"I told you not to touch him," he hissed, pure animal rage, barely recognizable from the Sam Gabriel had come to know. He pressed his arm in firmer, harder, free hand seizing both Luce's wrists.


"No!" Gabriel said immediately, following after Sam, hands reaching up to hold him by the shoulder and elbow. "Sam, stop!"

Luce laughed soundlessly, eyes piercing in their clarity. You thought you escaped this, little brother. It was clearly the reaction he'd been searching for.

Gabriel was rocketted back to watching him and Michael fight, and every time, Michael would beat him down. I love you, brother. Don't make me do this and It is deserved.

"Sam!" Gabriel shook him, nowhere near strong enough to tear him away.


Sam shook, a full-body shudder, and pressed in harder, his arm steel-strong and solid against Luce's throat. He couldn't stop, not now. Not now that he had Luce pinned, now that Luce was here and back and trying to take Gabriel from him.

He shook Gabriel off and tightened his hand, feeling the bones of Luce's wrists grind together. It felt good; it felt like reparations.


Luce made a soft noise, possibly in pain, but he stared at Sam with something strangely akin to approval. His head tilted back, resting against the wall. He smiled, and waited. Waited for something, even as his world hazed.

Gabriel didn't have a chance with this, and he dispaired, small and young in the presence of these men, small and hurting. Gabriel let go of Sam, cosidered for a moment, tying to hurt him. Trying to hurt his Sam, just like he'd tried to hurt his brothers, all those weeks ago.

He tried one last time, pressing his hands and forehead to the solid, powerful line of Sam's back. "You do this," he said, voice wrecked, "And I can't look at you again." It wouldn't be Sam, the one who treated him with kindness, who he trusted never to hurt him. It would be Sam, the one who killed his brother. "Just fucking stop, Sam."


Sam stilled, the press of Gabriel against him and his voice, fuck, his voice, small and scared and too young for this. The rush of adrenaline ceased as quickly as it had come and he dropped his arm, stumbling back away from Luce and sinking to one knee, panting out the exertion. Everything crushed in on him, like being contained in a plastic bag and letting water rush in.

He blinked to clear his vision and looked up with dawning horror. It had happened again. Shit. He turned his gaze on Gabriel, then dropped his eyes, staring at the pockmarked floor. Fuck.


Gabriel's eyes were wide and shining, expression crumpled in obvious flood of relief, washing over him in waves to match his harsh breath. He looked at Luce, shaking, with anger, and more relief, trying to adjust to what had just happened.

Luce flexed his hands painfully, carefully rotating his wrists, but all smug expectation had been washed from his pale face. He nodded at Gabriel, perhaps in thank you, or perhaps in simple acknowledgement, gaze lingering. After he'd fixed the sight in his mind, Luce left, closing the door quietly behind him. Conviction.


Sam's chest heaved; he remained kneeling on the floor, unmoving, trying to gather scattered thoughts. He'd seen Luce's face. He looked... satisfied. And he'd gone. The fuck was that about...?

Finally, he lifted his gaze to Gabriel. "Gabe..."


Gabriel had pressed his fingertips into his hairline, covering his face with his hands. "If you apologise, I swear I am walking out that door," he mumbled.


"But -" Sam clenched his teeth, pushing himself back to sit. "I shouldn't have done that," he muttered, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Goddammit."


"No," Gabriel agreed quietly, "You shouldn't have." He tugged the blanket Sam had brought him, off the bed and wrapped his around himself as he crawled onto the mattress. It could've been worse. Sam might not have stopped.


Sam pushed himself up, dizzy from sudden lack of adrenaline, and stepped over to sit on the edge of the bed. "Gabriel," he said quietly, ran his hand back through his hair. What was he supposed to say?


Gabriel looked up at him, peeking over the top of the blanket edge. He sat up, moving close to Sam, and kissed him chastely on the corner of the mouth. "I still love you," he said, wanting to make that clear before he went on. "I just need to be by myself for a bit." He stroked Sam's cheek lightly.


Sam nodded, understanding. He cupped Gabriel's cheek, pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I love you too," he murmured, nudged their foreheads together. "I'll come back later, bring dinner, is that all right?"


Gabriel nodded, folding away under the blanket again. His expression was carefully blank.


Something squirmed uncomfortably in Sam's chest. He had a feeling that all was not as well between he and Gabe as he had hoped, but the best he could do was give Gabriel time, not force him. "Love you," he repeated, and slipped out the door.



Sam arrived back at six with two of the sandwiches from the nearby diner that both he and Gabriel had an unhealthy fetish for - only to find the room empty. His chest seized up, breathing caught thick in his throat until he saw the scrap of paper on the desk.In Gabriel's careful handwriting it read swingset.

Sam couldn't remember taking stairs faster in his entire life. He beat it out the back door and sighed in messy relief as he saw that his lover was, indeed, on the swingset, legs dangling as he swung gently back and forth. "Gabe!" He loped over, shoving the styrofoam containers under his arm. "You gave me a heart attack, Gabe, Christ."


"Hey, Sam," Gabriel said, smiling over his shoulder. His poor backback was sitting off to the side, zipped tightly over his stuff and the blanket that had been shoved inside. "Just wanted...to be outside, you know?"


"Yes," Sam murmured. He eyed the backpack, but didn't comment. He set the food down and lowered himself into the other swing, quiet, watching, w


Gabriel held out a hand for his half of the food. "So, when we going?"


Sam blinked, handed over Gabriel's box. "You're coming home with me?"


Gabriel looked a little lost for a second. "I'm not?"


"I - Yes. Of course." Sam reached down for his food, brought it into his lap. "I wasn't sure you'd... want to."


Gabriel ate his sandwich, swinging back and forth for a little while. "I was gonna run," he admitted. He eyed the backpack. "Give you back your stuff and go."


Sam's heart stopped. "Gabe..." He'd fucked it up; he knew it. He'd fucked it up because he couldn't control himself.


Gabriel threw his bread crusts at Sam, "Don't make that face. I'm not going anywhere unless it's with you. I'm tired of running. And you're a good thing."


"'Good thing'," Sam repeated. "Sure, man, whatever you say." He set his box down, dropped his head into his hands. "I would have killed him. Without thinking about it."


"I didn't say 'perfect'. And it's not like you're the only one with rage issues." Gabriel kicked off the ground, swinging higher. "Besides, you stopped."


Sam shook his head, sighed quietly. "Do you still trust me? After seeing that?"


"Not with my brothers," Gabriel said. "Look, Sam. Are you trying to talk me out of this? Cause I'll go with my original plan if you really want me to."


"I just--" Sam rubbed his hands back through his hair and settled his chin on them. "I'm sorry. I should have listened to you; I didn't think I would snap that badly." He sucked in a breath. "There was a second where I thought about going after you and that - terrifies me."


If he'd been walking, Gabriel would have faltered, but on the swing he stopped kicking his legs and slowed down. "So it really is anyone." He'd asked that before. Gabriel pushed his shoes into the playground rocks, digging deep. "....what d'you wanna do." It wasn't just his decision anymore, it was Sam's too.


"When I get like that..." Sam gritted his teeth. "If it had been anyone else grabbing my back, I would have turned on them." He settled, leaned his head against one of the chains. "I want you to move in with me. I love you." He was quiet for a moment. "And I'm going back to therapy."


Gabriel nodded, kicking rocks ahead of him, off into the grass. "Sounds good." It sounded fine, really, but he could work through it. Try and help Sam work through it, if it would help.


Sam relaxed minutely, then reached over, curled his fingers under Gabriel's chin.


Gabriel looked over at Sam, eyes questioning.


"I love you," Sam murmured. "Thank you."


"You should take me home," Gabriel said, with a soft smile.


"Yeah, I think I will." Sam stood, tugged Gabriel up into a kiss. He grabbed for the younger boy's backpack and slung it over one shoulder, tossing both boxes in a dented trash can and circling Gabriel's shoulders with his free arm.



end

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